CLASH of the CHARACTERZ
by the meep
Summary: Holly meets a bunch of other characters from various other stories or movies... rated PG for mild language... pretty please with sugar on top R&R, even if it's flame.
1. Orthank and Characterz

CLASH of the CHARACTERZ Starring... HOLLY SHORT! *holds up sign saying applause* Okay. Technically thisis an Artemis Fowl fanfic, but I put some other characters in it... well... just read. Okay? -The MEEP-  
  
*~*~*~*~*~* (little border lines comprosed of tidles, asterisks and hyphens for the sake of making my fanfic like everyone else's. so ha.)  
  
Disclaimer ~ If I owned these guys, I wouldn't be writing a fanfic. Make sense?  
  
Rated PG for MILD- repeat, MILD- language. (Bloody Hell!)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Scene: Holly's house... erm... do fairies have houses? Um... Holly's place. (Y'all.) *a/n- WalkThruTheFire, I admire U!!!*  
  
Captain Holly Short was just about to sit back and relax after a hard day's work when there was a knock at her door. Sighing, she went to answer it. But when she opened it she saw not a person at all, but a swirling vortex. It made to suck her in, but she slammed the door and leaned against it, panting.  
  
She was about to sit back and relax, again, when the vortex appeared again at the window. She slammed that shut too and drew the curtains around it tight.  
  
Oh well, she thought, I may as well go take a hot bath. She stepped into the bathroom, and saw the vortex coming up the drain.  
  
*a/n- then the story switched formats. yeh, i'm lazy.*  
  
Holly: D'ARVIT!!! WHAT ARE ALL THESE D*** VORTEXES DOING IN MY HOUSE!  
  
The Authoress (who shall henceforth be known as Nari): *sticks tongue out at Holly* never you mind.  
  
Holly: Hey! Get out of my house!  
  
Nari: No.  
  
Holly: What do you want with me?!  
  
Nari: Never you mind. Just jump into this here vortex.  
  
Holly: No.  
  
Nari: Well, um, too bad for you because I'm writing this story, sucky as it may be, and you will do as I say. So, ha.  
  
Holly: D'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit. *jumps in vortex*  
  
*Holly is sucked into the vortex, and is thrown onto a very tall tower which she recognizes at once to be Orthank. (Yes, that may be misspelled. And if you don't know, Orthank is that tower from LotR... and if you only watched LotR because of Orlando Bloom, well, if you were paying any attention at all, it's the place where the ugly white wizard guy... not the good guy, the bad guy... makes all those goblin things. Okay, well, if you were ONLY paying attention to Orlando, then just picture a really, really tall black sinister-looking tower, above lots of mining pits and little creepy-looking goblin things.)*  
  
ANYWAYS!  
  
Back 2 da story.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Holly lands with a thump and looks around...*  
  
Holly: Where the *&#@%$!! am I?!  
  
*Holly looks around and sees she is not alone. Surrounding her are various characters including Chii (from the Chobits anime), Trinity (The Matrix), Aragorn and Legolas (Lotr), Ash (Pokemon), Pyro aka John Allerdyce, my good friend Naiashieko (her real name shall remain a secret), her imaginary boyfriend Toast, and... Artemis.*  
  
Holly: Oh D'Arvit. What the flip-ping &$%#...  
  
Artemis: Hey, it's Holly!  
  
Holly: Artemis!  
  
Artemis: Holly!  
  
Naiashieko: *giggles*  
  
Holly: *death glare*  
  
Chii: (confused) Chii?  
  
Trinity: Man, this is bullsh...crap. What am I even DOING here?  
  
Nari: You're participating in my fanfic. Shut up.  
  
Artemis: Bloody hell. *covers mouth* oops...  
  
Nari: LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT PG HERE PEOPLE! *extremely annoyed*  
  
Yugi: *out of the blue* I'm bored.  
  
Artemis: Let's play chess!  
  
Holly: Okay.  
  
Toast: *scared*  
  
*Holly and Artemis play chess. Holly moves a rook and...*  
  
Holly: *grins wickedly* Checkmate.  
  
Artemis: NOOOOOOOO!!! No one's ever beat me before!!!! NOOOOOoooo-- waitaminute. *studies the board*  
  
Holly: *sweeps away all the pieces* Heh... that's, um, enough chess for now. *sweatdrop*  
  
(a/n: Sara, that was for you.)  
  
Naiashieko: Okay, so we're on the top of Tolkein's tower, watching Holly Short and Artemis Fowl play chess, bored out of our minds, oh and watching Aragorn and Legolass (I added the extra S for you, Ingrid) do... ermm... EWWW NASTY! NEVER MIND!  
  
Nari: Hey, compared to what you and Toast are doing, it's not all that...  
  
*static crackles*  
  
THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY AUTHORESS  
  
Sorry bout that, people. That was pretty much written just for my friends who will no doubt be reading this... but I'll make it so y'ALL can understand it now. 'K? ;-)  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
Pyro: *conjures a fireball*  
  
Artemis: BLOODY HELL it's a B'Wa Kell!!! Run for it!!!  
  
Holly: No, it's just Pyro... (a/n: X-2. Go watch it. NOW.)  
  
Chii: Chii?  
  
Ash: *takes a PokeBall out from thin air* UNIKO, GO!!!  
  
*A unicorn-like thing with a fish tail bursts out of the PokeBall with a tidal wave of water and splashes Pyro. The flame is extinguished.*  
  
Pyro: Bloody hell!  
  
Artemis: Hey, that's my line.  
  
Ron Weasly: No, it's mine.  
  
Nari: Hey, you don't belong here! Shoo! We hate you!  
  
Ron: Bloody... oh forget it. *skulks away*  
  
Holly: Ohhhh this is pointless.  
  
Chii: Chii?  
  
Holly: ARRGHH!!! CHII, WE VOTE YOU OFF THE TOWER! You are asked to leave to council!!! *pushes Chii over the edge*  
  
Trinity: *Backflips over the edge, grabs Chii by the way-too-long hair, grabs onto a nearby spike, runs along the wall of the tower for a few seconds and catapults back onto to top.*  
  
Toast: o_o wow...  
  
Naiashieko: *slaps Toast*  
  
Artemis: I think we should vote off Aragorn and Legolas, too. We need to keep this PG, like Nari said.  
  
Nari: *grins* Good boy Artemis. You get a cookie.  
  
Naiashieko: Hey, this is a story, the reader can't actually SEE what they're doing...  
  
Holly: *reaches for her Neutrino, but then notices that all she's wearing is her violet bathrobe. (she was just about to take a bath, 'member?)*  
  
Artemis: Oh yeah I was meaning to ask, Holly... what's with the bathrobe?  
  
Holly: I... BLOODY HELL! That was NOT intentional! I... it was never my intention to...  
  
Naiashieko: *in that special way only Naiashieko can say* Suuuuuuure. ;-)  
  
Holly: No, really! I was just about to take a bath when that ***** of an author sucked me into a vortex and... *realizes Artemis is looking down her top* BLOODY HELL!  
  
Nari: Geez people what is your obsession with "bloody hell"?!  
  
Holly: *Grabs Aragorn's sword*  
  
Aragorn: Hey, give that back!  
  
Holly: *Grabs Ash's PokeBalls... erm... OMG I did NOT mean it to sound that way... O_O SORRY GENTLE READER!!! Holly grabs a PokeBall or two from Ash.*  
  
Ash: Hey, give that back!  
  
Holly: *Grabs Legolas's bow, and aims all three weapons at Artemis* Now, Mud Boy...  
  
Artemis: NOOOOOOOOOO! Bloody-- erm, crapazoid!  
  
Holly: Crapazoid?  
  
Naiashieko: Hey, Crapazoid is MY word!  
  
Nari: Holy Fricking Crapazoid?  
  
Naiashieko: *death glare*  
  
Holly: Okay, this is getting boring. We need something to do...  
  
Nari: Let's play Truth or Dare! Artemis, you go first.  
  
*a/n: But before we begin, I must say 1 thing: I may be copying this partially from another person's fanfic, which is far better than mine, I know. If only I could remember who it was... ehh, well, if you're that person, reading this, and want to sue me, please contact me first. OK? (= *  
  
Artemis: Wait, you ask me or I ask you?  
  
Nari: Um, I ask you. Truth or dare?  
  
Artemis: Truth?  
  
Nari: *cackles* Do you like Holly?  
  
Artemis: Well, of course I like Holly. She's a great captain, an excellent pilot, and risked her life to save my father. She deserves to be respected as a friend, even if she does hate me sometimes...  
  
Nari: *grin fades away with every word Artemis says* (grumbles) Smarta** genius kid... Okay, Arty, do you LOVE Holly?  
  
Artemis: Well, what kind of love do you mean? As a friend? Sure.  
  
Nari: Bloody he.....ck. No no, I mean... like like Holly... oh, forget it.  
  
Artemis: *grins smugly*  
  
Nari: Your turn.  
  
Artemis: Okay, Naiashieko, truth or dare?  
  
Naiashieko: Crap.  
  
Artemis: You still have to answer.  
  
Naiashieko: ermm... truth?  
  
Nari: *Whispers something in Arty's ear*  
  
*a/n: you might not get this...*  
  
Artemis: O-kaaaayyyyy... Naiashieko, what did you do to your boyfriend to bring him out of his coma? *looks at Nari, confusedly*  
  
Naiashieko: CRAPAZOID! *thinks* Um, tickled him? *blushes profusely*  
  
Toast: Actually, I seem to recall you...  
  
Naiashieko: Shut up! *turns a rather nauseating shade of scarlet*  
  
Arty: Your turn.  
  
Naiashieko: *gives Nari the death glare* Okay, Pyro... do you have a secret relationship with Rogue?  
  
Pyro: Hey, I'm supposed to choose truth/dare!  
  
Naiashieko (who will henceforth be known as Xia, her other pen name): Okay, fine. Truth or dare?  
  
Pyro: Dare  
  
Xia: Light Trinity's clothes on fire and accept the consequinces.  
  
Pyro & Trinity: Heck no.  
  
Xia: Well then... do you...  
  
Pyro: Ummmmm..... *blushes*  
  
Xia: I'll take that as a yes.  
  
Pyro: *becomes extremely interested in his fingernails*  
  
Holly: Ohh holy fricking bloody crapazoid hell. This is SO g**d*** BORING!  
  
Nari: You're right. I'll build up some suspense for the next chapter.  
  
*~* SO, dear readers (if I have any by this point), look for the following suspenseful items in the upcoming chapter: Pocky, golden-tipped arrows, some drugs, Madame Ko's training place thingy, cap guns, and theWorldChessChampionship! And me fixing my broken spacebar!!! YAAAAYYYY! *~*  
  
THE END  
  
--The Meep--  
  
*one final authors note... (yes I just felt like leaving out that apostrophe) Orlando Bloom lovers are ditzes. erm, no offense to you, WalkThruTheFire. (GO READ HER STORY!)* Namarie! *"Farewell" in Elvish* 


	2. The World Chess Championship

**CLASH of the CHARACTERZ **

**- The MEEP! - **

**Disclaimer, again: They ain't mine. **

**Yo, readers: When I tried to upload this @ first it didn't do the paragraphs, so it looked like a big jumble of words… *makes a mental note to PREVIEW b4 posting* sorry bout that. So, ahem. **

**CHAPTER TWO, the chapter of DOOM!!!**

Okay, but first, I have to clear up a few things.

#1: I'm sorry for what I said about Legolas lovers being ditzes. I mean, that's what I think, but that was rude and offensive, so… SORRY EVERY1!

#2: For Starry Eyes12. Yes, I know. That thing was kind of something my perverted friend made up, and I stuck it in for her. So to fix that, Aragorn and Legolas won't be in this chapter. So there!

#3: That last chapter was… more directed toward my friends than you readers out there (as though you wanted to read it anyway), so… now I won't mention Ingrid, Sara, Toast, Solace, Courtney, Hannah, or any one of them. HAHAHA!!!

#4: "Bloody Hell" is officially outlawed from this chapter.

So, on with it already.

Holly woke up several hours later at home. She seemed to recall dreaming something about being on top of Orthank in a bathrobe, with a bunch of other crazy characters from various other stories/movies. She had beaten Artemis Fowl at chess, and Chii almost died, and Ash flooded the place with a unicorn Pokemon…

Wow. Strange. She got up and headed to her closet, only to see… another vortex.

"HOLY FRICKING BLOODY CRAPAZOID HELL!" she exclaimed.

*format switches*

Nari (your authoress, remember?): Hey, I said no more Bloody Hell!

Holly: But I didn't…! I said Bloody Crapazoid Hell!

Nari: That still counts. Anyways, 'crapazoid' is copyrighted by Naiashieko. (covers mouth) Oops! I'm breaking all my vows here!

Audience: BOOOOO!!!

Nari: Hey, I didn't ask for an audience. Just readers! (And I got two!)

Holly: Okay, I don't want to go associate with your stupid characters, okay, Nari, or whatever your name is?

Nari: Too bad. I'm the authoress, and you have to do what I say, remember? And I want you to jump in that vortex. *grins smugly*

Holly: D'Arvit.

*Holly jumps into the vortex, and lands at a strange-looking place. A woman in a Karate uniform, at least something that looks like a Karate uniform, walks over.*

Holly: Who are you?

Lady In The Karate Uniform: You are at Madame Ko's bodyguard training academy. I am Madame Ko… might I ask who you are?

Holly: Umm, Holly Short.

Madame Ko: Ahh, I've heard of you. I believe one of the Fowls mentioned you… Artemis, was it? Yes, Artemis Jr. Said you were 'hot'.

Holly: *blushes* Okay, now you're just making stuff up.

MK: You're right. I just read the book, so I though it would be fun to say that.

Holly: (thinking) There's a _book_ about us?! (speaking) well, umm… could you tell me why I am here?

MK: Yes. I believe you are here for the World Chess Championship, like so many other strange people who have come to visit… please take a seat. *gestures towards many tables and benches, at which many of the characters Holly had seen that last night, and some new ones, too, are sitting.*

Holly: *sits down across from Chii, who this time has her master/owner/boyfriend Hideki with her. Go read Chobits.*

Chii: Chii? *gestures toward chessboard*

Holly: Umm, okay, let's play chess.

*Holly and Chii played chess. Chii beat Holly 5 times out of 6.*

Holly: Bl—HOLY CRAP, Chii! I beat _Artemis_! And you're dumb! How could you be so lucky?!

Chii: *smirks*

Holly: I'ma go play with someone else.

Hideki: *whispers* Don't let her know you were cheating, Chii.

*Holly walks around and finally sits down next to Iceman/Bobby (X-men).*

Bobby: Care for a friendly game of chess?

Holly: Sure, why not.

*Holly plays chess with Iceman and after two hours, is ready to checkmate him.*

Holly: *tries to move her Queen* Hey, what the meep?! It's frozen to the board!

Iceman: *evil laugh*

Holly: Phoo. Let's call it a draw! Good-BYE. *walks over to… sorry everyone, I had 2 include him… Legolas. Sits down*

Holly: Chess?

Legolas: Shure.

*Holly plays chess with Legolas, and beats him 10 times out of 10.*

Legolas: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! How could you do this!!! I'm supposed to be, like, so hot and perfect and Orlandoesque!!! NOOOO! One more game?

Holly: Face it, Legolas . You're dumb.

Legolas: You die Holly: *pulls out his choice weapon, golden-tipped arrows.*

Holly: *shields*

Legolas: *confused* Hey, where'd she go? *Shoots an arrow at where Holly used to be sitting. The arrow whizzes on by and gets stuck in the mud.*

Legolas: NOOOOOOO! That was my best arrow! Die Holly die! *cries*

(a/n: You can tell I really don't like Legolas. Sorry.)

*Madame Ko steps up to a Microphone after Holly has played several more games.*

MK: Attention, please! We have selected our two finalists: Artemis Fowl and Holly Short. They will now compete in the final game for FIRST PRIZE… but I'm not going to tell you what it is, so there. NOW! Arty and Holly---

Artemis: G**D***IT DON'T CALL ME ARTY!!!

MK: Sorry. AR-TEM-ISS and Holly will compete in the Final Match… sit down please… okay, good. On your mark, get set…

Holly: *whispers* Hey Chii, c'mere.

Chii: Chii?

Holly: I want you to fire this cap gun at Artemis when it's his crucial move. 'Kay?

Chii: *wicked grin* 'Kay.

MK: …GO!

Artemis: I'm white, so I move first. *moves a pawn* Your move…

Holly: Yes, Arty, I know it's my move. *moves another pawn*

Artemis: *continues taking turns for several more minutes, shocked that he can't beat her in six moves.*

Holly: *nods at Chii while it's Artemis's turn*

Chii: *Fires cap gun*

Artemis: AAAAHHHHH! *wets his pants* G**D*** YOU HOLLY!!! Madame Ko! _Madame Ko_!!!

Holly: Quit being such a crybaby, Artemis. Go and change your pants!

Artemis: *glares* Don't move any pieces. Butler, make sure she doesn't.

Butler: *grins*

*A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY AUTHORESS WHILE ARTEMIS IS GONE*

**Saying 'g**d***' is officially banned from this story.**

*later*

Artemis: I'm back!

Holly: Took ya long enough.

Artemis: So, your move or my move?

Holly: Your move.

Artemis: *moves a piece*

Holly: *moves a piece* Checkmate.

Artemis: *stares in disbelief* I BEAT THE WORLD CHAMPION IN 6 MOVES!!!

Holly: Not the _new_ world champion. *grins*

Artemis: *glare*

MK: *returns* How's it going? Who won?

Holly: Erm, I did.

MK: Not bad. Okay! *steps up to the mike again* Attention, chess lovers! We have a winner… HOLLY SHORT!

*cheers and applause*

MK: Holly, you get a LIFE SUPPLY of… POCKY!!!

Holly: WHAT?! That's lame! For all I went through?

MK: Of course, I _could_ just give it to Artemis…

Holly: No, no, no, Pocky is fine. Heh.

**So Holly eats pocky, Artemis sulks, and the drugs forgot to be included in this story. (Maybe that's a good thing.) THE END… of chapter 2!**

~meep~


	3. Icy DOOM and the Mafiya

**CLASH of the CHARACTERZ **

-the MEEP-

**Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to Eoin Colfer, JRR Tolkein, Warner Bros., and various other people. Basically, I am the only one I own. =( But it's fun to manipulate them anyways. **

**ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE, READ THIS! **I think I fixed the problem with no lines. It was really hard to read otherwise. So, sorry everyone, it might be a little easier to read now. Man, that was embarrassing...

**Chapter Three, the chapter of Icy Doom. (Y'hear that, Sara?! ICY doom!!!) **

**The RULES for this chapter: **

1) No saying "bloody hell".

2) No saying "g**d***". "D***" is okay in some circumstances, but you can't say something like "D***, I was at that d*** chess match, and that d*** fairy beat me, d*** it!"

3) No friends of mine are allowed to be included anymore.

4) At a reviewers's request, Trinity is put back into the story. Yay!

5) WARNING: Due to language, I may have to rate this story PG-13 soon, but I sense my characters will not make that necessary... they can get outa control sometimes.

6) No Aragorn and Legolas.

**On wit da story!** (That phrase is copyright me. No one else is allowed to use it. And if they do, I'll come to their house and throttle them in their sleep!) Bwahaha.

*You may be expecting this chapter to start with Holly... well, it doesn't!!! It starts with Artemis.*

Artemis Fowl was sitting at a table eating breakfast and reading _Advanced Chess for Advanced Players_, wondering if he'd missed something that let Holly beat him. Of course, there was always the advantage of having a not-so-intelligent, but very innocent-looking, persocon stand behind your opponent and fire a cap gun in their ear, but there was also the advantage of Elven intelligence. Holly had about 65 years more experience than him, so that would explain a bit, but Elves were also way ahead of the Humans in most things... technology, um, well, lots of things... (Nari is at a loss for words. HELP!)...

He was so wrapped up in his thinking that he didn't notice Butler come up behind him and tap him on the shoulder.

*ye olde format switch*

Artemis: Dom! Wazzup homie?

Nari: *giggle*

Artemis: Authoress! Nari! You know I don't talk like that!

Nari: Who's the boss here, Arty?

Artemis: Well, Butler can take care of you, and I control Butler, so... me.

Nari: Wrong. I can do whatever I want to you and the other characters in my story. See, I can make Butler go clean the all the toilets in Fowl Manor...

Butler: *walks off to go find the Comet and Windex*

Artemis: HEY! GIMME BACK MY BODYGUARD!

Nari: I can make him EAT it if you don't shut up.

Artemis: *sigh* okay. So you're probably going to throw me in with a bunch of characters from other random places, and then make us do something embarrassing...

Nari: Pretty much... although I _didn't_ control that chess match at all. You wetting your pants was your own fault.

Artemis: Wha... I... It... grrrrrr...

Nari: But, there's a reward for you.

Artemis: Ooh, good. What?

Nari: You get to choose the place the characters meet at. I'm thinking of organizing some sort of competition!

Artemis: Well, Madame Ko's was a disaster, and I don't want those wackos messing up my manor, so...

Nari: (interrupts) OH YEAH! Your Manor! Perfect place. I'll bring them in now! *conjures a vortex*

(A huge vortex appears in the middle of the living room. The characters to fly out of it this time are: Holly (of course), Trinity, Pippin, Misty, Bob, a fish, Yugi, and... NIGHTCRAWER!)

Artemis: BLOODY *sees Nari's look* ...erm, holy crap!

Holly: Where are we? *looks around* Nari, are you somehow determined to bring Artemis and me together or something?!

Nari: Yes, but not yet.

Yugi: Where are we, yo?

Nari: Fowl Manor... Mr. Fowl Junior. His High-n-Mighty Royalness Majesty don't want y'all scuffing up the $5,000 carpet, so wife your feet!

Bob: 0_o

Nightcrawler: *looks confused*

Trinity: *looks around, seemingly analyzing the walls and the weapons hanging on them*

Pippin: I'm huuuungryyyy...

Misty: *squeaks*

Fish: *jumps into Artemis's water-glass*

Nari: Okay, now this time, I want everyone to know each other! So, let's all stand in a circle and introduce ourselves! I'll start. I'm Nari, AKA Lenari, AKA the meep, and you can't see me because I'm just a disembodied voice controlling the story right now... you next, Holly! ^_^

Holly: Hi, I'm Captain Holly Short, and I have a blaster on my hip that can vaporize you in less than a second...

Trinity: I'm Trinity... Neo is MINE... I don't really know what I'm doing here, but I'm in the story, so... oh well!

Yugi: Hi, I'm Yugi...

Nari: ...and you're gender-neutral and have a bad haircut. NEXT!

Yugi: *pouts*

Pippin: I'm Peregrin--

Nari: _Pippin!_

Pippin: *sigh* _Pippin_ Took, from the Shire... I like weed and food and horsies... and Merry is...

Nari: Whoops! Er, next please.

Misty: Hi, I'm Misty, I have a high voice, and I'm from Pokemon! I'm always hugging this little Pokemon in my arms... I think I might have strangled it at some point or another...

Bob: Hey people, I'm Bob the Stick Person, and there's more to my personality than I can tell you, so let's just say that I'm weird.

Fish: *blub*

Nightcrawler: Guten Tag! I am Kurt Wagner, AKA Nightcrawler, I have a way-too-heavy German accent, I can teleport to places with my specially unique sound effect...

Nari: 'BAMF' IS _NOT_ A SOUND EFFECT!!! NOBODY CAN EVER SAY 'BAMF'!!!

Nightcrawler: They did it OK in the movie.

Nari: True, But you were ugly.

Nightcrawler: AM NOT! *sulks*

Nari: Now you, Arty.

Artemis: I'm Artemis, I own this house, and um, I'm a 14-year-old genius...

Nari: Great, now I'll call Butler back with our mission. BUTLER!

Butler: I'll be right there, as soon as I'm done with this toilet!

Nari: We need Juliet's message!

Butler: It's on the laptop!

Artemis: *grabs the laptop*

Nari: Now check your email.

Artemis: *checks his email* What's this? The Russian Mafiya _again_?! Oh, and... they've taken Juliet!

Holly: *shaking head* Ohhhhhh, no. No. Absolutely not. I got severe pneumonia after rescuing your father, Artemis, but hey, that was my duty. But your _bodyguard's sister_?! Next thing you know, I'll be rescuing your aunt's friend's accountant's cousin!

Artemis: Juliet... she was my friend...

Holly: I know you don't have many friends, Arty, but...

Artemis: I resent that.

Nari: Well, bundle up! You're all going to the Arctic!

Holly: NO! I--

*The vortex takes them at once to Northern Russia, in the middle of the snow. Yugi freezes to death.*

Holly: Quick everyone! *Passes around the rad gel*

Pippin: *eats the rad gel* *dies*

Holly: Nooooo! You stupid fool of a Took!

Fish: *freezes but miraculously does not die*

Misty: *turns blue and becomes enclosed in an ice crystal* I KNEW these shorts were too short...

Bob: 0_o *wonders why everyone is freezing*

Nightcrawler: *BAMFs back to Hawaii*

Trinity: Come on. Let's move. *points to a shelter up ahead*

Fish: *Flops to the shelter*

(They all arrive at the shelter, dragging Yugi and Misty.)

Trinity: Ahh, warmth. *Takes off her coat to reveal a shiney tight leather tank top and pants and really cool boots.*

Bob: O_O

Yugi: O_O

Pippin: O_O

Fish: O_O

Nightcrawler: O_O

Artemis: @_@

Holly: Oh, for... *slaps Artemis*

Artemis: 0_0 hhhhuuhhhhhh.....?

Holly: *extremely angry* NARI!!!!!!

Nari: Can I help you?

Holly: Break these perverted males out of their trance, NOW! The story is getting boring and your readers are evaporating!

Nari: *pouts* Fine.

Arty/Yugi/Pippin/Bob/Fish/Nightcrawler: Wha...?

Trinity: *puts her coat back on, glaring* Let's go.

(They find the place where Juliet is held captive. Apparently Juliet was behind a simple locked door, and they had to get through it.)

Holly: Any suggestions, anyone?

Yugi: *Shuffles through cards* I'm pretty sure I had a Door-Busting card in here somewhere...

Pippin: I'm hungry...

Bob: Umm... I dunno

Fish: Noooo idea.

Artemis: Give me 2 or 3 hours of meditation time and I'm sure I could come up with a formidable solution...

Trinity: *kicks the door. It falls* You people are so dumb...

Holly: And there she is! *points to Juliet, who is standing on a pile of out-cold guards.*

Juliet: It's about time! I was getting bored here.

Trinity: Oh, you think you're so great, do you?

Juliet: Yeah, I do. I could beat you in a fight, you know.

Trinity: Well, we'll see, but we'll have to wait for another chapter, because the author is cheap and wants to keep people reading her story.

Nari: HEY!

Holly: Well, it's true.

Nari: IS NOT! Holly, I'm taking away you pocky!

Holly: Be my guest, I don't like that stuff anyway.

Nari: And so the story ends. Just jump in the vortex and teleport back home, everyone! See ya!

*END OF CHAPTER 3*

-the meep-

NEXT: Juliet and trinity fight, Bob makes lemonade, the fish goes psycho, and they all watch _Resident Evil_ and _Matrix Revolutions_.

See ya next time, readers!


	4. The Duel: Juliet vs Trinity

CLASH of the CHARACTERZ

by The MEEP

Chapta Four: The Duel

But first, the obligatory authoress's notes...

#1: The usual things ("bloody hell", "g**d***", Aragorn+Legolas, inappropriate acts, et cetera), will be outlawed.

#2: A friend of mine who shall remain anonymous has committed a serious offense by copying nearly everything original in my story, and twisting it around, then publishing it. Furthermore, the story was REAL PEOPLE BASED, which is against the rules of fanfiction.net.  
Audience: Hey, didn't you base yours on your friend--  
Nari: Shut up. Nevermind.  
I won't report you, Sara, because I'm such a great friend. But you know I would never really be mad at you... right? *sweatdrop*

#3: I fixed the only-signed-reviews problem. So now you can review if you're not signed in. YEAH!

ON WIT DA STORY already. Um, yeah.

So, the scene: Artemis's manor. The characters present are: Holly (duh), Juliet and Trinity (duh), Butler, Foaly, Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean), and... Frodo. Hey, I bet they could all have nicknames. Arty, Hol, um, I dunno... Juli, Trin, Dom, Bill, and... Frodo=Elijah=? Help me out here, people.

Artemis: *awkward* Well, umm... anyone for lemonade?

Everyone: YEAH!

Juliet: Just so long as you don't make it...

Artemis: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!

Juliet: Face it, Artemis. You can't cook... a glass of lemonade.

Artemis: Gimme a break! I'm an inexperienced genius!

Will: Forget this, I'll just go make it... *walks into kitchen and returns four minutes later with a pitcher of lemonade.*

Butler: Hey, I though we didn't have any lemons.

Juliet: And we're out of that powdered drink stuff...

*Everyone turns to look at Will.*

Will: All, right, fine. *turns red*

Juliet: _I'll_ go make the lemonade. Then Trinity and I can duel.

Trinity: *smug look*

Juliet: I've always wondered, Will... Why do you have long hair?

Will: Uh...

Juliet: It's not cute, you know... In fact, it makes you look like a...

Artemis: JULIET! We're getting bored... where's the lemonade?!

Juliet: Uh, coming right up!

*Juliet makes several pitchers of pink lemonade, made witrh a powdered mix from... ages gone by. Oh, and Dixie cups.*

Juliet: Best I could do. Drink up.

Trinity: Now, shall we fight?

Juliet: You got it! Umm, choose your weapon.

Trinity: Only one?

Juliet: Okay, you get two if I get two.

Trinity: Three?

Artemis: FORGET IT! ONE WEAPON! THAT'S IT, GIRLS!

Juliet: *pouts* Well, I select my jade ring on my ponytail... *reaches to grab it, but finds it's not there. She looks up, and Trinity is twirling it between her fingers.*

Juliet: HEY, give that back, you!

Trinity: By the laws of the duel, I can take your weapon BEFORE the duel and it's mine for the remainder!

Juliet: Well... *grabs Trinity's machine gun*

Trinity: HEY!

Juliet: *Starts blasting holes in everything, including the walls and the lounge furniture.*

Artemis: You--- THAT COST $50,000, THAT DID!!!

Trinity: *Cartwheels between the bullets, seeming to dodge every one.*

Butler: Aww man, they didn't even wait for my starting gun!

Trinity: *Tries to hit Juliet with the ring, and misses.*

Nari: CUT! Okay, I know y'all think my story is boring, and to try and write a fight scene with my minimal skills would be murder. So let's just fast-forward... *VWEEEEEP!* ...there, to the end of the fight.

*Juliet lies on the floor, defeated... er, almost defeated... by Trinity, who is sporting many cuts and scratches. The rest of the characters are just watching _Resident Evil_ on Artemis's big-screen TV.*

Juliet: You can't... do this... to... me... *gasps*

Trinity: Yes I can. (long pause) Uh oh. S***...

Juliet: What?

Trinity: I think I had too much lemonade...

Juliet: Oh, YES!

Trinity: Oh, NO.

Juliet: Will you forfeit?

Trinity: Umm...

Juliet: *Grabs Artemis's water glass and pours it in a constant stream onto the floor.*

Trinity: ARGH! Yes! Yes I surrender! *Takes off toward restroom*

Juliet: *grins* Ahh, nature wins in the end.

Artemis: Hey, we still have lots of fanfic space to fill out. That was short, boring, and dumb.

Butler: Agreed.

Juliet: Why don't we, um, play checkers? Practice Martial Arts? Eat some celery?

Artemis: Why don't we watch Matrix Reloaded?

Everyone: YEAH!

*So they watch Matrix Reloaded. Very inappropriate, violent, and gory movie, with a lame excuse for a plot. The stupidity of people these days...*

Nari: Okay, I'm SICK of this! We may have to just end... huh, what's this?

A fiery vortex appeared in the room, and out of it steps...

"_TWO DOLLARS._"

Holly: OH MY GOD! It's the paperboy from 'Better Off Dead'!!!

Paperboy: TWO DOLLARS.

Nari: Out! All of you! This fanfic is coming to a close. Goodbye!

~THE END~

Oh, not the end of the STORY. Just chapter 4. ^_~

--the MEEP--


End file.
